Ricky Koo Coaching – Career & Self Development

“I need help to fix it”

🤯 We are our own harshest critics

“I need to fix it. Then, I will be more free.” That’s what Lisa, a client of mine, said this week during a session. We were exploring what’s keeping her stuck while juggling her personal life and her job search, and she equated the problem to herself. Her lack of organization. The fact that she has all these ideas, and can never seem to execute. So she ends up just avoiding or procrastinating.

This isn’t uncommon, especially for people who are self aware and hold high standards for themselves. That push can help motivate us to accomplish and achieve things that we otherwise may not have been able to. At the same time, there is a tipping point where if you set unrealistic expectations or constantly berate yourself for not getting something right, it causes you to retreat. Retreat from yourself. From your ideas. And it leaves you feeling stuck–or worse, helpless.

One very important part of remembering who you are and getting “unstuck” is digging deep and remembering your core values. Acknowledging and remembering your core values can help reinforce that in any situation, whether it’s at work or in life. Since this comes up so often and I share it during one of my popular workshops on authenticity, here is my free CORE Self Compass Guide which can help you connect back to your values and build trust. Once you download it, you could type directly into the spaces since it’s a fillable PDF. Save it, revise it as you evolve, and share it with anyone!

Something else to be aware of is the words we use when describing ourselves and our experiences. Words like “I never…” or “fix” are ones to watch because they often come from a place of self-preservation, but could have the opposite effect. You could end up actually believing that and begin limiting yourself subconsciously. The way that we speak to ourselves transcends outward into the way that we present ourselves into the world. Which then impacts or even changes how people experience us. So the most important thing is to watch what words you use to describe yourself.

In this particular session, we didn’t get to “resolve” anything. It was a much larger conversation that will span into the next session and involve self-reflection in between. But Lisa came away with a brighter understanding and reminder that she didn’t need to be “fixed”. It’s not as though she’s broken and there is a right answer or a tune-up that needed to happen. The way she was getting stuck wasn’t due to something inherently wrong with her. It was just that life happens, and in the midst of so much changing around her, she lost sight of having a consistent practice and habits that help reinforce what she already knew.

The lightbulb moment came on when I noticed her body shifted and she had a slight smile with a twinkle in her eyes. She remembered her own capabilities and that she had over 15 years of experience. She raised a daughter who she just sent to college. We came up with an easy self-reminder for when she starts to spiral and get in this “stuck” mindset again. That was simply two words for her–TRUST YOURSELF. Such a simple, but powerful reminder to help jolt you back into your core self.

I have my own personal reminder that works for me when I get in those moments of self-doubt and start comparing myself to others. Mine is a bit longer, but resonates with me: Nobody else can do what you do, how you do it.

And what about you? How much do you trust yourself? What is your personal reminder to grasp onto that self-trust? You can create one today if you don’t yet have one.

🌏️ 🗓️ News & Events

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• ICYMI: I had another webinar with UCLA Alumni Association called The Intentional You, focusing on authenticity to thrive in your career. If you register for it, you should be able to access the recording. I invite you to download the free CORE Self Compass Guide and find your own unique voice.
• I also spoke at a virtual AI Summit with Finance Alliance. I shared how to leverage AI as a powerful tool to handle all of the technical/tactical work, so you could shift focus onto developing and enhancing your soft skills. Here is where you can access it.
• I also developed a new Team Culture workshop, which I’m excited to launch and present for the first time coming up in September! More to come on that.

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