Top 5 Communication Mistakes to Avoid

1. Leading with nerves

There are very few people who actually truly don’t feel any nerves before public speaking. If someone says they aren’t nervous at all before speaking in front of a crowd, it’s very likely they’re lying (or trying to convince themselves to feel less nervous by saying that).

One of the common mistakes I see people making is when they let nerves take over. It’s reasonable and okay to feel nervous, but don’t let them lead you. Don’t let your nerves make you decide to change something in your presentation last minute. Don’t let your nerves cause you to speak faster to “get it over with”. Don’t let your nerves sell yourself short and make your voice sound too soft and lacking in confidence.

At the end of the day, one simple reminder that I like to think of whenever I feel nervousness creep up is—“They’re just people”. Repeat this in your mind, no matter who you are meeting with or who you are speaking to. I don’t care if it’s the CEO of the company or if it’s someone with 40 years of experience. They’re. Just. People.

2. Lack of purpose

There is one easy test I encourage all of my clients and workshop participants to use with every single conversation (and yes, I do mean every single conversation—big or small). That test is to ask: “What do I want them to think, feel, or do differently?”.

In any interaction, whether it’s a big presentation or a casual meeting with a coworker, there has to be an identifiable outcome. Outcomes give purpose. Purpose gives reason for time. Without purpose, people will feel as though you’re wasting their time. Or, worse, that you don’t know what you’re talking about.

So keep this in mind the next time you’re preparing for any interactions. Think of your audience. Then identify what it is that you want them to think, feel, or do differently. Do you want them to think about a certain problem with a different perspective? Do you want them to feel happy, sad, frustrated, confident? Or do you want the to take some kind of action after your conversation?

The more clear you are with your outcome, the more purpose your entire presentation or conversation will have. And that is the key ingredient to establishing respect, trust, and commitment from the audience.

3. Not self aware

Do you often use a filler word because you’re afraid of pauses? Do you tend to blink a lot when you start talking fast? Do you constantly have a furrowed look in your eyebrows?

These are all easy questions to answer if you raise your self awareness as a speaker or communicator. It’s too easy nowadays to NOT get this right. You can record yourself on your phone. Record yourself on Zoom. Record yourself on Teams. Whatever mode of technology you’re comfortable with, there shouldn’t be an excuse as to why you’re not self aware of where you fall on the spectrum of bad to great communication. Watching yourself speak is the single best way to pick up on cues and habits that you otherwise may not have noticed.

People are rarely going to give you the honest feedback that you very much need to improve your communication skills. They don’t want to risk making you feel bad or having to deal with the consequences of you responding poorly to their feedback. They aren’t going to tell you that you used “um” 10 times within 5 minutes. They’re not going to tell you that your body language gives off a snobby vibe and the way you stand makes you look timid. When you record yourself and watch it (as painful and cringy as you feel about it), I can almost guarantee that you will pick up on at least one behavior that you would really benefit from refining or changing. The first step is self awareness, and there is no better way to gain self awareness than to witness yourself in action from a 3rd party, objective point of view.

4. Too much detail!

That saying less is more is not just with fashion. It goes with PowerPoint presentations. It goes with 1 on 1s with your manager. It goes with most conversations, when people go on and on about something which leaves the other party wondering “why are they telling me this?”.

During the process of becoming a professional certified coach, we have hundreds of hours of professional training, role playing, and research spent on deciphering how people behave and how to navigate conversations with clients that may be leading to nowhere. One of the biggest skills is to be able to take in a large amount of information (we call this the “story”, when people spend a lot of time going through details in explaining or describing a situation)—then distilling it down and filtering it down ultimately to the root of the issue.

But not everybody is a professional trained coach. They aren’t trained to listen intently and they aren’t equipped with the right tools and abilities to listen for what’s not being said. So as a communicator, it’s your duty to include what’s absolutely necessary and leave out the details as a “nice to have” if someone wants those details.

A very effective way of doing this is chunking out your message in two areas. 1) Need to know vs. 2) Nice to know. Need to know should only have 2-3 sentences or bullet points. Imagine an elevator door closing in on you as you’re delivering this message. What are the 2-3 things this audience NEEDS to know, before the elevator doors are closing? That’s what you start with. Leave the rest as optional details.

5. Scripting everything

This is a very common one that brings people comfort when they script out what they are going to say. While this can help with getting all of your ideas and thoughts down, the major drawback is that it can easily get you into a mindset of having to say the “right” things and pressure you to feel as though you have to memorize every single word and sentence you’ll say.

What this does is when you’re speaking whether on stage or presenting something during a meeting, if you happen to forget or “go blank” with what you were going to say, it can make you feel even more flustered when you can’t find the exact words you had rehearsed.

Instead, I encourage people to do a “brain dump” by typing out everything they might want to cover. Bullet points is great for this. Then, instead of using that as the main part of your presentation, pick and choose the top 2-3 “need to know” items and bring those to the center of your presentation. Leave the rest in your notes. When you script everything you’re about to say, it can also leave you sounding (and feeling) a bit robotic and rigid. It doesn’t give space for your personality or uniqueness to come through, and it will often leave your audience feeling bored or even frustrated.

Time to practice!

If any or all of the above 5 mistakes resonate with you, I encourage you to practice refining that in your communication. There is no right or wrong way to communicate, but there are clear differentiations between a concise, effective, and impactful communicator versus one that is wordy, robotic, and inconsistent.

Try incorporating one small change or refinement in your communication style at a time. No need to get overwhelmed with trying to become an expert in all of the above. Over time, as you make these small but powerful shifts in your delivery and preparation, you will find that your audience is much more engaged and resonate with your message!

Have some fun with it and practice! If you want to talk more about this or share your experience after incorporating these, please don’t hesitate to email me at coach@rickykoo.com.

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About Ricky Koo

Ricky Koo is a seasoned corporate executive, entrepreneur, and certified Leadership & Communication Coach with a passion for helping professionals lead with authenticity and impact. With a background in Psychology and as a former Big 4 CPA, he built a distinguished career in Fortune 500 companies across banking, consulting, and technology, leading global teams and navigating complex business environments. Ricky’s unique perspective and strong instincts as a business leader enable him to successfully guide people through challenging situations while developing and fostering strong cultures.

As an instructor for UC Berkeley Extension, he passionately blends a strong technical foundation with real-world leadership experience to deliver transformative learnings on communication, influence, leadership, and career development. His approach bridges science with practicality, creating meaningful impact for audiences worldwide—from the classroom to the boardroom.

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