5 lessons I wish I learned in my 20’s

1. Let People Fail.

Let things and people fail. Go on vacation, let things fall apart. The value you bring isn’t just in what you do or produce. The value you bring can be seen and felt even more when risks or failures happen in your absence. People miss things when they’re not present, that’s how our minds work. We don’t miss things or appreciate them when they’re constantly available in front of our face. It’s just like dating–don’t be so available 100% of the time. That’s why it’s a red flag when people say “I’m going on vacation, but you can always text or email if you need me”. I say this with much respect—you’re not that important. And the future you will thank yourself for that boundary you held firm to.

2. Nobody Cares.

I used to spend so much time comparing myself to others and then feeling like shit afterwards. Because for every person which I felt I was “ahead” of, I would always inevitably find 3 others who were more successful, more confident, more [insert adjective] than me. Then I realized one day that nobody cares what I’m doing. Or what I’m thinking. Or what I’m saying. Everyone is going about their daily lives worried about themselves. Focused on their own lives. So free yourself from the burden of comparison and from worrying about what others are thinking of you. Because nobody cares. They are too busy thinking about themselves.

3. Being Busy is Not a Strength.

A full calendar does not always equal success. It just means you’ve placed things that you have to do or intend to do into perfect little boxes and filled up every hour, every minute, every second of your day. That’s not productivity. That’s captivity. Being imprisoned by your own calendar and not having the ability to just be. The true measure of success is how NOT busy you are. How much time and space you can be leisurely. And in order to attain some of that not-busyness, you have to start by seeing your time as money. Value your time and don’t let others take advantage of it. Protect your calendar—a full calendar doesn’t always equal success.

4. Stop Looking Externally.

It’s so common for us to default to asking other people for advice. There’s a sense of helplessness when do that, which is ironic because asking for help is supposed to be a good thing and make us feel better. But then you find yourself leaning too much onto someone else’s thoughts and opinions. Then you find yourself doubting or questioning your own decisions. Then you feel paralyzed from making decisions without consulting or “looking up” something—that’s when you know you’ve reached beyond the healthy point of looking externally. Focus less time and energy on looking externally for your answers. Because the more you look, the more you’ll find, and the more confused you’ll feel. Trust your own capabilities. Trust your own thoughts. Trust your own uniqueness. And when you’re spiraling and can’t seem to stop thinking about what “answer” you might find externally, look yourself in the mirror and say this out loud: “Nobody else can do you better than you.”

5. Envy and Insecurity Breed Judgment.

A lot of times, our irritation of qualities in other people are actually a reflection of our own jealousy or insecurities. It’s easier to point at others for a problematic behavior because it’s less painful to admit that it’s something we are also guilty of. The way to combat this is by being curious with your judgment. Sitting with your judgment. Inviting it in for a cup of coffee/tea. Ask what it is about so-and-so that really makes you tick. What specific words or actions are we irritated or disgusted by? Then, gently hold up a mirror and ask—“How does this show up in me?”. Being able to practice this takes a lot of introspection and you might feel drained, but you will come out more self aware, self assured, and self confident.

6. (Bonus) Showers are amazing for new ideas. That’s all. No need to expand further.

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About Ricky Koo

Ricky Koo is a seasoned corporate executive, entrepreneur, and certified Leadership & Communication Coach with a passion for helping professionals lead with authenticity and impact. With a background in Psychology and as a former Big 4 CPA, he built a distinguished career in Fortune 500 companies across banking, consulting, and technology, leading global teams and navigating complex business environments. Ricky’s unique perspective and strong instincts as a business leader enable him to successfully guide people through challenging situations while developing and fostering strong cultures.

As an instructor for UC Berkeley Extension, he passionately blends a strong technical foundation with real-world leadership experience to deliver transformative learnings on communication, influence, leadership, and career development. His approach bridges science with practicality, creating meaningful impact for audiences worldwide—from the classroom to the boardroom.

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