Ricky Koo Coaching – Career & Self Development

“I’m a doer. I’m used to doing and going.”

That’s what I said in a reflection video to myself a year ago (which I never posted)

Over the past month or so, I’ve had a feeling creep up on me that I couldn’t shake. It was different from my usual winter “slump”, where I feel like my creativity stalls and my motivation comes to a crawl for certain things at work. It partly has to do with the fact that it has been an exceptionally foggy and gloomy past couple of months here, but I knew it was deeper than that.

As I buried my head deeper into my schedule–churning out video after video on Instagram, juggling my posting on my blog, meeting after meeting, keeping up with my private client sessions, and trying to ignore the fact that I haven’t practiced yoga since November, I reached a halting point where I couldn’t just “do” anymore.

Through desperate measures, I busied my mind with questions like “What can I do to maximize my time even more?” meanwhile ignoring my own advice that I often give clients and mentees–you must prioritize, otherwise you will be spread so thin that you are just running on a hamster wheel, feeling like you’re “doing” a lot. When in reality, you’d just be doing all of those things okay, rather than doing it effectively and exceptionally.

It came to a point where I found myself at my brother’s house, standing in the doorway of his bedroom and going through options of what I could do to get out of this rut. It began with me saying “maybe I’m going through my mid-life crisis” jokingly, and ended with him saying “maybe you are…but it sounds like there’s something deeper.”

I tend to be a pretty decisive person, especially when it comes to moving forward on things and situations. I don’t like to linger or to wonder too much–I just do. I just go. As I’m writing this, I have decided for myself that I’m drawing a line. Enough is enough. I am human, and I don’t want to push myself into doing things more and more, because it makes me feel like everything is out of focus when I’m in that state of mind.

I was editing a self-reflection video yesterday and it struck me how much more slowly, thoughtfully, and calmly I spoke. There was less clutter. Less frazzle in my mind. This was a video meant for myself, to watch back on and remember how I was feeling in that moment. It was recorded about a year ago.

Here’s what I realize now, after watching back on that 1 year ago version of myself:

• I don’t like the version of me when I spend too much time on Instagram (posting and scrolling).
• ChatGPT stifles my creativity, so I will continue to minimize my usage of it. And definitely keep it clear away from my writing.
• I miss yoga and my daily walks.
• The current political climate has completely shaken me and I tried to accept it as the “new normal”, but know that the times we’re living in are just not normal.
• I’m tired.

That’s what I have today. A semi-exhausted Ricky, doing what I know best–writing. There’s no secret lesson here or any “hook” or headline. But it’s exactly what I’m feeling right now.

And finally, the small decision that I made is: I will be spending noticeably less time on Instagram. I’m not ready to completely say goodbye to all of the 42,000+ people there, because it’s a community that I am very proud to have created and been a part of over the past few years. But I do know that scrolling and responding to all of the comments (negative & positive) are not making me feel full and purposeful anymore.

If you’ve read it to here, then the good news is that I will continue to share on my blog and newsletter here. So I appreciate you being here and for not just enjoying me in “visual” video form, but also getting a glimpse of me in my inner, “written” form. Thank you for being here.

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• My course on Negotiation & Influence is about to start in just a few weeks with UC Berkeley Extension! It is online and part of their Leadership & Management Certification Program. I am extremely excited to meet my students and teach them the art & psychology behind negotiating. Check it out here if you’re interested.
• I drove back home (8+ hours) after celebrating Chinese New Year/Lunar New Year with my family. I finished an audiobook that brought me to tears. It was so riveting and beautifully written. The book is called On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong. He’s a poet, which is what intrigued me even more (did I tell you I’ve secretly been writing little poems for myself for the past two years? 🙂

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