Stop Joining Work Meetings Quietly (It’s Killing Your Career)

Earlier on in my career, I would look at my calendar and play Tetris to see how I could fit as many meetings as I could and optimize the “extra space” Monday through Friday. Not only that, I accepted everything when people would schedule their meetings over my blocked time during lunch or scheduled breaks. I equated my meeting time with face time and saw it as an opportunity to grow my career.

The meeting trap that feels productive (but isn’t)

Now, after so many years in the corporate world and having been behind the scenes to know how decisions actually get made, I know that it’s not about how many hours you put in. It’s not about how many meetings you have perfectly planned to squeeze into your demanding schedule from morning until evening. It’s not how hard you work. And it’s not even how skilled you are or how capable you are in doing your job.

Something that people often forget or ignore when it comes to their career growth is that they are working with people. They are trying to get promoted by people. They are trying to deliver outcomes that make people see their value. The center of it all is the people. Which means in order to properly influence and make an impact, those people have to care. And in order for people to care, their perception of you matters more than any of the things I named above.

Why perception matters more than effort

Not to say that the key to getting promoted is just being bad at your job and pretending like you’re great at it. But you cannot simply be good at your job and expect to get noticed, recognized, or promoted. You need to focus on developing other people’s perception of you—or, your self brand.

One of the biggest mistakes (and easiest to avoid) in your self brand is to not be trapped as a “doer”. Someone who just focuses on doing the work above all else. That may feel productive and it may feel like the right thing to do, but that won’t get you properly recognized, valued, or promoted. Because once you have the perception of being a strong “doer”, it becomes extremely difficult to change someone else’s perception of you. We as humans do not go out of our way to re-evaluate people. Instead, we have to give people a reason to re-evaluate, by changing the signals we send.

The real cost of joining meetings quietly (a true story)

I once had a team member who was so eager to join every single meeting. He wanted to be included in all of the meetings, even if it was just an office hour or an update or not even directly relevant to his scope.

But what he didn’t realize is that being included doesn’t mean being involved.

While he was in those meetings, he wasn’t actually involved in the discussion. He wasn’t involved in the decision making. He wasn’t involved in the brainstorming. He was simply a bystander–there to be a “fly on the wall”. And very quickly, he created a self brand that he was “that guy” who was in every meeting, but nobody knew what he actually did or why he was there to begin with. This negative perception and self brand spread like wild fire, and although he constantly worked hard and put in extra hours just to fit in all those meetings, he sat by as all of his peers (including me) got promoted over the years.

The one big mistake he made was ignoring the power of perception, and he failed to see the hole he was digging for himself.

He was equating working hard with the number of hours he put in and he was expecting that to be recognized. When in reality, what was being recognized was his inability to contribute actively when he did join in meetings—he was just physically there, but mentally elsewhere, thinking about all of the work piling up that he’d have to catch up on later. More-so, sometimes when he sat in on those meetings, he’d have his laptop with him typing furiously away and responding at lightning speed to all of the emails. This further developed a brand that he was just a “doer”, and he didn’t have a strategic bone in his body.

Now, I’m not saying all of that is true—that was just the perception of people. And the important thing to note when it comes to the workplace (any workplace, regardless of industry), is that perception matters.

How to build a self brand that gets you promoted

So the next time you’re looking at your calendar and admiring your game of Tetris like I used to, here’s what you can actually do to strengthen your self brand and leverage people’s perception of you to grow your career:

Whenever you are in a meeting, ensure you say at least 1 statement or ask at least 1 question. If you cannot be confident that you can do that before a meeting, do not attend the meeting. You are better off not being there, than to be there and stay quiet the entire time.
Remind yourself that your productivity and value are not measured by how many hours of work you put in.
Think of 3 words that you want people to describe you as in the workplace.
Tell others you are focusing on developing your soft skills. Send out an anonymous survey to all stakeholders and peers you work with, and ask them to use 3 words to describe you candidly and honestly. Reflect on how different they are from your self-given 3 words above.
Lastly, carve out at least 2 hours on your calendar every single week and protect it at all cost. Use those 2 hours to read articles focused on the 3 words that you want others to perceive you as, do a leadership development exercise (free templates online), or watch YouTube videos on communication skills. It takes time and intention to develop your soft skills, and it’s your soft skills that ultimately form (or change) people’s perception of you. Take time to decline some meetings and reduce your “working” time, and then reinvest that time in yourself and your soft skills.

The meeting participation checklist (say 1 thing or don’t go)

For every single meeting (yes, I do mean every single one), ask yourself:
- What is my role in this meeting?
- What is 1 thing I will say or ask?
- What is the purpose of this meeting—decision, discussion, or debrief?
- Instead of this meeting, what could I be spending this time doing and which is more aligned with my work + career goals?

So now, what’s one meeting that you’ll decline this week?

Found this helpful or insightful?

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About Ricky Koo

Ricky Koo is a seasoned corporate executive, entrepreneur, and certified Leadership & Communication Coach with a passion for helping professionals lead with authenticity and impact. With a background in Psychology and as a former Big 4 CPA, he built a distinguished career in Fortune 500 companies across banking, consulting, and technology, leading global teams and navigating complex business environments. Ricky’s unique perspective and strong instincts as a business leader enable him to successfully guide people through challenging situations while developing and fostering strong cultures.

As an instructor at UC Berkeley Extension, he passionately blends a strong technical foundation with real-world leadership experience to deliver transformative learnings on communication, influence, leadership, and career development. His approach bridges science with practicality, creating meaningful impact for audiences worldwide—from the classroom to the boardroom.

Ricky Koo Coaching – Career & Self Development