How to Advocate for Yourself at Work (Without Sounding Pushy)

“I’m not getting recognized or acknowledged at work”. That’s one of the most common symptoms that people come to me asking for help on. As a corporate leader, ICF-credentialed coach, and UC Berkeley instructor, I’ve seen this pattern across high-achievers who are doing strong work but still getting overlooked.

Why hard work alone does not get you recognized

My usual response, to their surprise, is not focusing on the examples or stories on when they were not recognized. Because I have seen that play out for high-achievers and highly capable people way too often in the workplace. On top of that, I’ve also personally experienced this as I navigated throughout my career—so I know what is keeping people like that stuck. Because I used to be stuck there also.

When I respond with “What are you doing to be more recognized or acknowledged at work?”, that surprises some potential clients. Because it can make them feel uneasy, as if I’m pointing my finger at them and saying that they are doing something wrong. They aren’t doing anything wrong though. The reality is—they are doing things right and working hard to deliver genuine results for their teams and their companies. The disconnect here usually is not in capability or skill. The disconnect is in how they expect their work to be seen or understood.

Why self advocacy feels so uncomfortable for some people

Being raised in a very Asian household and being born in Hong Kong offered me a unique and diverse experience when it comes to life perspective and cuisine. But it also offered me this unspoken curse that many immigrants and children of immigrants (the cycle continues) face in the workplace—especially in the Western world and culture. That is, the false perception that our work speaks for itself.

“That’s all you can do—just work hard, keep your head down, and don’t bring too much attention to yourself”. Those were the exact words that my mom told me in the form of advice on my career. It’s because she came from a life where you just don’t have the capacity to think about concepts like self advocacy or asking for what you want. She came from a world of survival. A life where you needed to learn to be fast and good at what you do, and then keep beating that “good” over and over again. She came from a world where you were supposed to be grateful for even having a chance, let alone being able to be acknowledged or recognized. Acknowledgment and recognition brought about worries and doubt because of being “seen” or “found out”, more than they did bring feelings of celebration and empowerment. So I was also taught to shy away from these, like a lot of other minorities.

The lie many of us were taught about hard work

But having built my career in the corporate world across highly desirable jobs and industries spanning consulting, financial services, and tech—I’ve learned (the hard way) that your work absolutely does not speak for itself. Your work doesn’t have a voice. It doesn’t have life. Unless you give it one.

The concept of self-advocacy was so foreign to my old self and many of my clients. Because it’s not something that we actively participated in and practiced. Even when we excelled and achieved great things at work, our environment (and inner voice) would tell us—okay, this was good, but what’s next? There’s more to do. That constant achieving and raising of the figurative bar takes a toll on you. It’s not something that is sustainable, but it gets buried when high achievers surround themselves with titles and accomplishments to provide the comfort and acknowledgment that they are not receiving from managers and leadership.

It’s a constant churn when you are contributing valuable work and outcomes, being told that, then also being told that you’re not “leadership material”. Let’s be clear, though. That lack of leadership material is not a lack of potential or skill on your part. It’s a lack of self advocacy, and it’s noticed loud and clear in the workplace. That quiet lack of self advocacy then creates a perception that you will not be able to lead a team as well. After all, why would managers and leaders trust you to advocate, grow, and develop a team if you can’t even advocate for yourself?

The not-so-secret of successfully being more seen and heard at work is that you need to give your work the life it deserves. You need to talk about it more. You need to shine a spotlight, no matter how tiny, on what you’re doing and how you achieved what you did. And why. We never had the practice of that growing up, so let’s start now.

3 non-pushy and non-political ways to practice self advocacy at work

Just One Thing: Make it a monthly practice to share just 1 thing to your entire team or department. Not just anything, but pick something that helped you either be more productive or helped you solve a real problem at work. Share it by providing context of what you did, why you needed to do it (solve for X or save time), and state your intention of wanting to share so it can hopefully help others also.
Accept The Compliment: Whenever someone points out that you did a good job or commends you for a project that you led, do not just shyly sweep it away or dismiss it (I used to be very guilty of this, thinking that was humility). Instead, all you have to do is practice saying: “Thank you, I appreciate you saying that. I’m glad my work had such an impact on [insert the description or name of whom your results helped].”
Manager 1 on 1: At least once a month, dedicate 15 minutes of your 1 on 1 time with your manager to go over what you’ve accomplished. Make sure the things you highlight here are not just your day-to-day “core” work. Instead, focus on those additional responsibilities or projects that you’re working on. Things that are easy to forget (and often do get forgotten during performance reviews by managers, unless you remind them). Name those things you’ve worked on and also how it positively impacted someone else or other teams.

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Why these 3 habits work (and fit into what you’re already doing)

Notice how all 3 of these things are naturally things that you can incorporate into your work day and life. Not something new or extra you have to go out of your way to add or awkwardly introduce.

Chances are, you are already communicating with your team or department in some way broadly (Slack, Teams, email, etc.). Add in your One Thing each month.

Chances are, you do already get some compliments or feedback from colleagues or managers. Practice accepting them and acknowledging them fully, with no justification or dismissal.

Chances are, you are having 1 on 1s regularly with your manager (if you aren’t, you need to). Use that time intentionally, and carve out space to highlight your work and impact. Don’t be shy about it—it’s your time.

By being more intentional with the above 3 behaviors and incorporating that into your workplace, you will notice how others respond to you differently. They will experience you in a different light, because these are all the key ingredients for practicing self-advocacy. You don’t need to do it loudly. You don’t need to do it extremely frequently.

What happens when you don’t advocate for yourself

But remember—you are constantly sending signals out to people.

And you not mentioning your work or downplaying it is not earning you humility points—it’s making people doubt or question the real value of your work.

You not highlighting and reminding your manager about your accomplishments regularly throughout the year isn’t you “giving them some space” or being seen as someone valuable on the team, it’s making them not have a reason to keep you when the next round of layoffs happen because they can’t remember your importance and impact.

Start practicing your self advocacy without becoming someone you’re not

Self advocacy at work doesn’t have to be something radical or drastic. It is a simple thing that is supposed to be consistently and gradually practiced. It’s developing that inner voice to be a bit more encouraging and less harsh or judgmental. It’s allowing yourself to unlearn the belief that talking about your work and your accomplishments automatically makes you an egotistical person. It’s wiping away the lies told to ourselves that simply being proud of what we’ve done and how we’ve helped, is going to come across as fake or bragging.

At the end of the day, self advocacy is something that everyone should be practicing—it’s just not that easy for some. But with enough practice and self-trust, you will come to feel more and more natural while sharing your work, accomplishments, and experience, without letting that negative voice creep in telling you to stop. The next time that little voice asks you “Who do you think you are?”. You can calmly and confidently respond, “I’m just me being me. And I’m proud of celebrating that.”

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About Ricky Koo

Ricky Koo is a seasoned corporate executive, entrepreneur, and certified Leadership & Communication Coach with a passion for helping professionals lead with authenticity and impact. With a background in Psychology and as a former Big 4 CPA, he built a distinguished career in Fortune 500 companies across banking, consulting, and technology, leading global teams and navigating complex business environments. Ricky’s unique perspective and strong instincts as a business leader enable him to successfully guide people through challenging situations while developing and fostering strong cultures.

As an instructor at UC Berkeley Extension, he passionately blends a strong technical foundation with real-world leadership experience to deliver transformative learnings on communication, influence, leadership, and career development. His approach bridges science with practicality, creating meaningful impact for audiences worldwide—from the classroom to the boardroom.

Ricky Koo Coaching – Career & Self Development