Top Tips for Discussing Salary with Your Manager

It can be very uncomfortable to talk about your pay with your manager. I know for me, earlier in my career, it felt like I was challenging authority. If felt like I was being “ungrateful” or “difficult”. And for someone who was raised to not prioritize my own needs and wants, and to think on behalf of the “collective”, I was the perfect employee for any manager in the corporate world. Work hard, be diligent, keep quiet, and don’t cause waves.

Over the years, I’ve come to realize a harsh but important truth. Hard work alone is not enough. You need to be able to self advocate, and one of those topics often is regarding how much (or how little) you’re paid.

Here are the top mistakes for you to avoid when discussing your pay with your manager.

Preemptively coming up with the response or justification that you think your manager will say. Things like: “Budgets are so tight right now” or “Everyone is working so hard and my manager is swamped, this doesn’t feel like the best time…”
- Remember: It’s not your responsibility to come up with the response on behalf of your manager.
Leading the conversation by talking about how you feel about your pay.
- Remember: It’s not about your feelings. It’s about the work that you do, your skills, and proper research + evidence to support your point of view on how much you should be paid versus your current pay.
Thinking you just bring up the conversation once and that’s it.
- Remember: The first conversation is just the start. Do not expect to come away from that conversation with a resolution. It often takes series of conversations over time to get to the outcome you want. That’s okay, that’s to be expected.
“I’m afraid if I negotiate, they’ll take my offer away”
- Remember: This is if you’re interviewing for jobs and received an offer. If they take your offer away just because you asked to negotiate, then that speaks to the integrity, culture, and maturity of that hiring manager and/or company. This is probably one of the biggest “fears” I hear about from my clients when they’re going through the already stressful process of job hunting. Know your worth. Remember your worth. And if you need to stall, ask for some time to think. You do not need to always respond immediately.
Assuming that your manager remembers your accomplishments and goals over the past year (or years).
- Remember: You need to come prepared for this discussion. You don’t always need a full PowerPoint presentation, but you do need to have some tangible examples with solid results that you produced for the team or company which will help you get more pay. Managers are busy, and they are not going to proactively keep track of all the great things you accomplished. You should keep track of that throughout the year and have it as support to help lead you through these pay conversations with your manager.

Much like a lot of other things in life, the first time you bring up this pay discussion would be the hardest and most uncomfortable. The more you practice it, the more natural it will feel. Don’t mix in your emotions into this conversations. The best thing you can do when talking about your pay is to remain calm and objective. It’s not about comparing yourself to others or how you feel (even though your frustrations and/or feelings are valid—just save it for a different kind of conversation). This conversation with your manager should be very objective. It should be delivered using solid evidence to support your request, and articulating it in a clear, concise way that highlights your skills, abilities, value, and overall positive contribution to the team and/or company.

If you stumble a bit and your voice is a bit shaky—it’s okay! Remind yourself that it is part of your manager’s responsibilities to be clear about the work that you’re doing, paired with how much you’re getting paid for it. It’s a mutual relationship and if anything, approach it as just a conversation. If you’re asking for a raise and sharing all of your contributions, the best that could happen is that your manager remembers all the amazing things you’ve done and approves the raise. The worst that could happen is that your manager remembers all the amazing things you’ve done.

It’s just a conversation. Start somewhere.

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About Ricky Koo

Ricky Koo is a seasoned corporate executive, entrepreneur, and certified Leadership & Communication Coach with a passion for helping professionals lead with authenticity and impact. With a background in Psychology and as a former Big 4 CPA, he built a distinguished career in Fortune 500 companies across banking, consulting, and technology, leading global teams and navigating complex business environments. Ricky’s unique perspective and strong instincts as a business leader enable him to successfully guide people through challenging situations while developing and fostering strong cultures.

As an instructor for UC Berkeley Extension, he passionately blends a strong technical foundation with real-world leadership experience to deliver transformative learnings on communication, influence, leadership, and career development. His approach bridges science with practicality, creating meaningful impact for audiences worldwide—from the classroom to the boardroom.

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