Introvert quietness is mistaken for timidness
“You need to speak up more”.
One of the most common types of lazy, unhelpful feedback given to introverts. It’s the equivalent of telling someone who is stressed to “just don’t think about it”.
Not helpful.
The truth about introvert communication
As an introvert who has navigated the windy path towards leadership in Fortune 500 companies, I’ve had the opportunity to practice how to actually “speak up” in meetings—on my terms. What I’ve realized is that there isn’t a magic formula that works for everyone, but there are small, practical ways to change how you think more clearly, feel more confident, and thus speak more concisely to deliver your message. These span across any industry and any job level, because they are rooted in psychology. And psychology is how people actually think and behave at work.
How to break that stereotype of a quiet introvert (without losing yourself)
3 ways to enhance your communication and impact as an introvert:
1) Do not invite doubt
Instead of: “Does that make sense?”
Say: “What question do you have, if any?”
If you start with a question like “Does that make sense?”, you are unknowingly giving permission for everyone to doubt and question you. From my psychology background and practice in the corporate world, people inherently try and look for the “what’s wrong” first—don’t give them an extra boost to do that from the beginning. You’ll be doing yourself a disservice.
2) If it’s too much information, cut it down
Instead of: “I know this is a lot of information, but…”
Say: “I will focus on the most important points, which are ______”
The moment you begin your sentence with a qualifier that there is so much information here, it insinuates that you are not concise and it encourages people to completely ignore everything you are about to share because their brains will treat it as extraneous information.
Treat your words and how you say it with utmost intention—that is the key to what many people call “presence”. Presence is simply being very intentional about what you want to say, and how you deliver the information. Do not dilute your own message by using a qualifier or a transition like “I know there’s a lot of information here…”
3) Remove words that make you look and feel less confident
Instead of: “I think” or “I feel” or “I just”
Say: What you were going to say immediately after those filler words.
Those words—I think, I feel, or I just—are common filler words that introverts use when they feel uncomfortable about taking up space and it is usually an attempt to come across less “aggressive”. However, what it is actually doing is downplaying your authority and expertise in every single situation. Instead, remove those filler words, and it would sound something like this:
-> [Removed “I think”] We should go with this approach because _______.
-> [Removed “I feel”] You are not listening to the concern and risk I’m bringing up.
-> [Removed “I just”] I work with many stakeholders across the company and am also responsible for _______.
Practice incorporating these 3 communication shifts today and notice how others may respond differently to you. Over time, you will find that it feels more and more natural, and you won’t need to fall back on the crutches of using filler words or unintentionally giving people the permission to ignore or downplay your message.
More about how to advocate for yourself at work
Here is another post in this Self Advocacy series:
How to Advocate for Yourself at Work Naturally (Without Sounding Pushy)
How to Negotiate a Pay Increase or Job Promotion (with scripts)
If you’re ready to start your pay or promotion negotiation, let’s talk. I can help get you there.
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About Ricky Koo
Ricky Koo is a seasoned corporate executive, entrepreneur, and certified Leadership & Communication Coach with a passion for helping professionals lead with authenticity and impact. With a background in Psychology and as a former Big 4 CPA, he built a distinguished career in Fortune 500 companies across banking, consulting, and technology, leading global teams and navigating complex business environments. Ricky’s unique perspective and strong instincts as a business leader enable him to successfully guide people through challenging situations while developing and fostering strong cultures.
As an instructor at UC Berkeley Extension, he passionately blends a strong technical foundation with real-world leadership experience to deliver transformative learnings on communication, influence, leadership, and career development. His approach bridges science with practicality, creating meaningful impact for audiences worldwide—from the classroom to the boardroom.
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